If I could be anyone for a day....

So I've decided that it would be fun to make some lists on my blog, like the top five honeymoon destinations for alternative lifestyle-living individuals and the top ten things to eat when you are in a 'I hate men' phase. Today's list is brought to you by men, the only acceptable gender to date. Today's list is simple: The five Korean male entertainers Tim wants to be.

The list of course must start with the heart of the Korean entertainment world: Lee Jun Ki. This actor turned model turned singer turned everything under the sun is easily one of the most recognizable faces in Korea today, but here's something not many of you may know about him: he is in fact not a woman. Now I love this man, more than I should, but being him would be that much greater because honestly he can do anything he wants and millions of people will still worship the ground he walks on. Sure I'd have a hard time keeping my hands off myself, but what man doesn't? Lee Jun Ki looks great, is not a half bad actor, and just is a nice fresh face for Korea than someone like Bae Young Jun, who in all honesty is way past his prime.

My next selection is the ever handsome Lee Seung Ki. This boy just has a smile that can bring kittens back to life, not to mention he is considered Korea's younger brother and good boy. You can't possibly dislike this guy and so it is only natural that I, an American guy who is older than him, would aspire to be him. He has an awesome voice, a very handsome face, and I guess we could say a nice enough body. Not only that, but all boys want to be him and all girls want to get with him. Though the girl part I'm not necessarily too crazy about, I figure if guys want to be him and be friends with him then I should too! Besides, who doesn't want people screaming over you when you smile and say something cute? It just makes common sense to want to be him.

Depending on the day I may want to be G-Dragon (Kwon Ji Yong) that much more or that much less. But all in all, this guy is amazing. He has the talent, the fashion, the look, and the attitude. He is personable, energetic, and really not that bad to look at. I wouldn't be prone to touch myself as much if I were Lee Jun Ki or Lee Seung Ki, but I would be prone to do things like write songs about a horse meeting a zebra, drink beer while at a photoshoot, and wear pink whenever humanly possible. He personifies cool in ways that other Koreans could only hope to incarnate, but will never fully attain. He is the whatever the fancy French word is for exceptionally unique and outstanding, because in all honesty, Korea needs more G-Dragons if it is to survive in the rather culturally-competitive economy we now live in.

This boy is only 17, but is already one of the most sought-after boys in Korea. Yoo Seung Ho has started in numerous dramas, including his current 'God of Study', and always makes both the ladies and the boys turn their heads. He had a place in the sultry Brown Eyed Girls music video for "Don't Go, Don't Go", and it's really been since then that people have started to sexualize this young boy into something more than simply a kid. Who says young Korean teens don't fornicate like older ones do? Well with boys like this, it is easy to see just what drives them to do it. Granted, he is significantly younger than me and I really am not all about reliving my younger years, but perhaps if I were him, with his good looks and current position, I may rethink it. Besides, things 'taste' better when you are younger.

Now he isn't the best looking, not the most talented, and does not necessarily have the best personality, though it does not preclude him from being good looking (which he is), having talent (which he does), or being funny (which he is quite good at). However, Big Bang's Seungri (Lee Seung Hyun) has possibly the one thing that the other Big Bang members, most Korean actors, and perhaps even most Korean musicians lack: the overwhelming love, affection, and support of Korean homosexuals. Now I am not using the term homosexual in a negative way, I mean actual gay Koreans who are attracted to men. Overwhelmingly, when I ask Korean gay guys who their favorite Big Bang member is, or even open the door to just entertainers or 'ideal guys', Seungri outnumbers anyone else you may think. Sure, they like their pretty boys, but they like their boyish boys so much more. Seungri can go either way, for those who catch my drift, and that makes him the ultimate boy in my book, and therefore the most desired guy in the Korean entertainment world that I would want to be.

Holy Twisted Fate Batman, We're in a Boat!

So 60 or so fans fainted over the weekend at the Big Bang concert. I am trying hard to figure out why. I mean, I guess I can kind of see how fans get so enamored by stars that they feel as if they are connected to them in some way, but I don't see Lady Gaga's fans mailing period blood stained notes to her, or fainting at her concerts simply because they see her. This reminds me of a very special episode of 'Will & Grace' when Jack finally is exposed to Kevin Bacon as Kevin Bacon's stalker. In America, stalkers may be thought of as scary contraptions of people, but compared to Korea, a stalker is a welcome sign of relief. We think paparazzi is evil; nothing quite prepares anyone for a rushing onslaught of teen girls (and in some cases boys). Stalker culture in America takes a backseat to fan culture in Korea. Regardless, though, I'm still trying really hard to figure out why 60 fans fainted. Are their lives so void of meaning outside of Big Bang that they are affected by simply the presence of the star? I went to the concert over the weekend, and interestingly I was not the only guy there. To me, it looked more like a party than a pop concert, and Big Bang treated it more like a party than a pop concert. I've also been to a DBSK concert where I saw fans fainting and being carried out of the stadium. Either way, the way Korean fans attach themselves to their stars by all accounts is psychologically, and now physically, unhealthy.

In other news, I would like to know who exactly are the 'Korean netizens'. My impression of netizens, from back in my heyday as one living in America, were the otaku guys with too much time on their hand. Case and point: comic book guy from The Simpsons. But in Korea, I think of Korean netizens as synonymous with these fans, because that's where most my interests lie. But here we are, in the year 2010, and we are talking about how Korean netizens are angered over how one of the Japanese girls (Rie Akiba) from that retarded foreign girls talk about how to get guys and how beautiful they are and how idiotic and absent minded and blah blah blah (obviously I harbor some distaste for this show and its foreign girls), how she was asked about Korean politics from a Korean newspaper and her answers were apparently not all that savvy. First of all, what is a Korean newspaper doing asking a Japanese girl from a TV show about Korean politics, especially Dokdo? I mean, it's like Jerry Springer, because you know that these 'Korean netizens' are going to take anything she says and overreact, because that's what 'Korean netizens' do. To be honest, her answer was nothing special, and she was quite careful to avoid the big ass hole that is Korean politics, but she still managed to anger Korean netizens. So this begs the question, who exactly are Korean netizens, and why do they care? Are they so invested in what some Japanese girl on some retarded TV show says about Korean politics (who admits herself she is a novice to the field) that they are up in arms over it?

I feel as if no matter what anyone says about anything in Korea, Korean netizens, whoever they may be, will find some way to be angry over it. Korea, as I always have said, suffers from a Mommy problem because they find themselves always thinking they need to be on the defense because they believe everyone is out to get them: Korea is one big conspiracy theory. I mean even Mel Gibson is looking this way and saying 'I ain't touching that mess'. We all love Korea, in the way we love our crazy Aunt Harriet, but we don't always want to have to convince it that the world is not out to get it because that takes a lot of time and energy, and frankly, it never listens. I figure if we can start with entertainment, change that, then we can change Korea as we know it. I've learned something valuable, or completely pointless depending on how you view it, while living in Korea: Koreans, much more than any other people I've encountered, place more emphasis, value, and time/money/life in entertainment/pop culture than they do anything else. Sure, family values are important and loving God is good and all, but never have i witnessed such an affinity for television regularity, music influence, and all that is 'the entertainment world' than what I have witnessed here. Granted, Korea is significantly smaller than many of the other places I've been, and most people are concentrated in Seoul, but it is still quite something. I wonder, is Korea the future or the distant past?