The More You Know... and Shooting Star

Lately, I've been remembering some of the oddest things from my childhood, be it words people would use, searches I've made online, or television shows that I watched for all of 2 minutes. For example, I remember watching "Unsolved Mysteries" all the time as a kid, but it always scared the bejesus out of me, so I could only watch it during the day when I had off from school, and with my younger sister. So, we'd have lunch at 11.30am, watch "Unsolved Mysteries" from 12-1pm on Lifetime, Television for Women, and then I'd go off to my room to watch my stories ("Days of our Lives"). Speaking of which, I remember when Jensen Ackles first stared as Sammy's twin brother Eric. Nothing ever felt quite as nice as swooning over that guy.

This is the curse that befalls a person when they are left to their own thoughts for too long. In other words, I've been bored out of my mind for quite some time now and find it too painful to watch Korean television, except for the occasional show where Shinee dresses in animal PJs; that's just high-quality entertainment right there boys and girls. But honestly, most of what's been happening in Korea and in the kpop world has been quite bland, or over the top. First were the rash of period blood-stained letters, which were the talk of the town! SM Entertainment has also filed a new lawsuit, this time against some artist who drew a cartoon vaguely sexualizing the girls from Girls Generation; it really wasn't all that bad, but you know they have to stay in the limelight somehow. Then the girl groups came back with shitty songs and just blah blah blah... yeah, mostly T-ara and that chick who can't sing or dance from 4 minutes. I mean honestly, you have people saying 'oh man, I wanna work with her!' but in reality, it's men who are actually saying 'oh man, I wanna drive her so hard into my bed that she won't be getting up to go to work tomorrow!' Honestly, if they are going to release a solo debut, could they at least pick people who could sustain singing for at least 3 minutes? Breathing heavily and talking to a melody is not singing, it's making a complete idiot out of yourself. And yes, we are all looking at you Son Dambi and HyunA, because the only reason (and seriously folks, the only reason) you are popular is because you have nice bodies and men of all ages want to fuck you silly. But eh, that's the music business in a nutshell, huh?

In other fun news, I have two new absurd song names to report. The first comes from a group whose name is as absurd as their songs, ZE:A. So to make a long story short, they were first Child of Empire, then to be called Jia (i guess the Korean way of saying ZE:A), only to be changed to saying 'Child of Empire' in Korean because Jia is apparently the name of some member of some girl group and that's not allowed. Their song is that old Jewish saying, "Mazeltov". But, because it's too difficult to pronounce correctly, it sounds more like "Majeltoff", which could pass as a Canadian beer. And apparently, according to the song, it's majeltoff every day of the week. The other song comes from yet another boy group, this one with only four members called F.Cuz. Now in my opinion, the name looks cool, and I'd called them 'f cuz' because the 'f' could stand for any number of expletives. Oh but no, it has to have a more convoluted meaning than that. 'F' stands for 'four', because there are four members, and cuz... is just cuz. So to pronounce this, you have to 'think black' (a rough translation of what they actually said in their explanation) and slur your words together to arrive at 'focus'. Their debut song is entitled "Jiggy", and the melody is actually rather catchy (not to mention them just dancing around like cute boys who may have had too much cake at their 16th birthday party). Their message is very simple: get jiggy [with it]. So somewhere Will Smith is banging his head on the table as his infamous words are now being thrown back at him by three cute Korean boys and a very odd looking Korean guy who should probably be kept in a zoo as he looks like some sort of scary animal.

The moral of today's story, boys and girls, is that running away from home is not always the proper solution. Remember, there are people out there who love and care for you, and no matter what, they'll be home waiting. I'm Bill Cosby telling you to eat your Jello and stop all that gosh darn running away; get jiggy with it instead.