Pleasure or Pain?

You know, I've been doing the whole kpop thing for a while now and I learned pretty early on that nothing will ever cease to amaze me. Call me a pessimist, but I prefer the more philosophically correct term 'realist' to categorize my outlook on this industry. From 15 year old retards kicking out a Korean American for, well, telling the truth to all of a sudden realizing that a song that has been out for months is no good for children to now an upheaval of god only knows what of drama and money between artist and company, this Korean music industry is certainly looking like its crumbling into a state of blasphemy. I mean seriously, we have Kay Perry singing about her lesbianic tendencies, country singers claiming erotic attraction to tractors, and Alanis Morissette being, well, Alanis Morissette and Korea bitches over Ivy wanting to be touched and G-Dragon feeling all broken-hearted. Dare we call Korea reactionary? We do dare and I do call because seriously there seems to be little left in the industry to foster any type of serious music. I love Korea and I've always loved their music, but i feel as if we need to start marching in unison saluting some statue of Park Chung Hee with a Hitler-esque mustache wearing a Siberian winter coat. This is how far we've progressed, or rather how far we've digressed. It's like that quote from "Will & Grace": 'He's gotten so gay he's wrapped back around to straight.'

But should I really be surprised? Of course not. Because as long as we are human we will find new ways to screw ourselves, not to mention the people around us, in ways we didn't know were possible. Case and point. Three of the members of DBSK claim their contracts with SM Entertainment are unfair and they want to break the contract so they can, wait for it wait for it, yes, that's right, go to China and become investors in beauty products. Now I've seen some pretty dumb investments in my life, and I've heard some pretty outrageous stories about dumb celebrities (need I post pictures of a bald Britney and Kayane on stage showing he can own a middle schooler?), but to break a contract over beauty products in China is pretty idiotic, even for Britney and Kayane. I can see it now, both of them looking at each other saying in unison "I ain't going near that shit." So they claim an unfair contract because of its length: 13 years. Now, in all fairness, 13 years is an extremely long period of time and much can happen in that period of time: People can come of age, people can watch their pets get old and die, grandpa can run over the neighbors cat by accident, and yes, Michael Jackson can rise from the dead and bring salvation to this land. I don't dispute that 13 years is too long for a musical contract. However, to realize this 5 years after they sign the contract begs the question: What exactly have they been smoking for the last 5 years to have not realized this sooner? Now sure, recreational drugs from time to time, like alcohol intake, can be enjoyable if done in moderation and done responsibly. But seriously, every day for 5 years... I think we should get the three of them to a hospital and checked up to make sure they haven't completely fried their brain. Even Courtney Love takes a break from time to time to, you know, have a child or do an interview on Leno or something. And why only the three members? Were the other two not good enough for the dope and booze? Were they not good enough for China? Were they too beautiful already?

The moral of the story is simple boys and girls: Don't go to China to invest in beauty products. Well, the real moral of the story is that there is no moral of the story because I haven't really told a story. All I've really done is bitch and moan about a subject that has been in the kpop news recently. It tickles me to see fans threatening SM Entertainment and these companies for the misfortunes of their artists simply because they forget the first rule of fight club: you do not talk about fight club. Like Sarah Michelle Gellar correctly pointed out in "Cruel Intentions": 'Everyone does it, you just don't talk about it.' It's like a 'secret society' for the clueless Selma Blair, but really its simply an industry that is much older than most the people consuming its products. Ask any H.O.T. fan how music business is done and they'll tell you: behind closed doors without the input of the artist. Everyone knew this way back when, so why claim ignorance now? Artists know what they are signing up for, just like strippers know that when they become a stripper they have to take off their clothes. It's a lot like that. The kpop industry is a lot like stripping: Lots of clothes must come off before any real money can be made. Hell ask Bi, he get's a bag of cash every time his shirt comes off.

Really, everyone just needs to wake up and listen to the coffee.