What Tim is Most Thankful for...

There are many things I am thankful for, or should be thankful for. I have a job, I have some sort of financial security for the time being, I'm alive, I have a roof over my head, I have clothing that fits, and I have shoes. Everyone always says that their 'Thanksgiving Tradition' is to say what they are most thankful for, but it's not really a tradition when everyone does it. It would be like saying that your 'Christmas Tradition' is buying into consumerism and giving your family presents. A real 'Christmas Tradition' would be going rouge and giving your family assorted colored boxes with pictures of things you were going to buy them that year, but because you are a Rouge American, you decided not to. But, I will play the part of a traditional American and list the things that I am most thankful for. And I start with Martha Stewart, because honestly, she sets the stage for everything else I'm going to be thankful for, and that just looks like a bitchin' flower she's got in her hands.

Now obviously, two of the things I am most thankful for are coffee and music, but that's only because they make me stay awake so I can pass the days at work by with enjoyable background sound (or so it seems these days). Nothing says 'I'm not interested in having a conversation with you' better than a nice hot cup of Starbucks coffee in one hand, and your ipod in the other. It's the ultimate 'on the go' or 'anti-social' combination. How can I not be thankful for it?

Another obvious thing that I'm thankful for, that requires few words because I think the picture speaks for itself, is the one, the only: Yamapi. I've been thankful for the Pi for quite some time now, and to show my enthusiasm, I share with you all this picture, brought to you his chest and Martha Stewart made flowers.

But alas, it is Thanksgiving and the one thing we are all truly thankful for is the one thing we would never admit but secretly know is the one thing Martha knows best: Turkey.

Now I've never been to Turkey, but from what I hear it's one kick ass place to have a drink in. But the turkey I refer to is the other one, the eatable one, the one that if you put bacon on it no one is going to hold it against you because it's just that kind of bird. This is the only time of the year when you can stuff a bird full of bread and other 'veggies' without feeling as if you are taking the bird's dignity away (not to mention your own, let alone your shame). So what I am most thankful for this Thanksgiving is this: shame. It keeps people in check and makes sure that the majority of people don't stuff their hands up birds more often than the one day out of the year. And that, boys and girls, is certainly a Good Thing.