Shock and Awe, or Duck and Cover

Let's all take a minute to to reflect on the recent (mis) happenings of the past few days. But first, a moment of silence for J. Lo. and her rather public tumble off the human pyramid of dancers at Sunday's American Music Awards. It's not a coincidence her ass is the size of Montana, that's for sure. From all other footage, it just wasn't her night. Poor, misguided, Gili-sniffing, married to that god-awful Marc Anthony J. Lo. But it could be worse, she could be Adam Lambert and she could have made out with a keyboardist on stage. It's just... so beneath him, it's almost as if he was making out with a roadie... making out with 'the help'. The boy got a little too excited on stage, getting that blow job, some crotch/fingering action, and a James Bond tumble, random bits of singing turned screaming filtered in between of his obstacle course of a stage. He kept trying to climb higher and higher, as if he were Mario attempting to rescue the princess from the barrel-throwing King Kong. I kept wondering what he would get when he got to the top... and then we found out... tongue from 'the help'.

This past weekend also marked the departure from Mnet's Annual MKMF ( Mnet Korean Music Festival) to the Mnet Asian Music Awards, lovingly referred to as MAMA. Before the event even began it ran into rather deep trouble with SM Entertainment and a couple trot singers boycotting the event for being unfair. Of course, the results of the show have proven these claims of fairness to be absolutely true. MAMA, or as I like to refer to it as 'The JYP/ YG Gala of Doucheness', paid homage to nothing Asian and everything that came out of these two companies, as it is documented here. Not even J. Lo's ass could handle an idiotic tumble like that, and that things made out of like spinach or something. But this MAMA issue only further draws attention to the obvious mommy problem that the Korean Entertainment Industry has faced this past year, beginning back with the Park Jaebum and DBSK controversies. The MAMA spawned the latest Kpop fiasco/ problem with 2PM's Nichkun and Ivy as the two of them danced a sultry dance on stage (or rather Ivy attempting to seduce the 'Thai Prince' with her womanly ways). 2PM fans, dubbed 'Hottests' (refer to this post to see why), bombarded Ivy's Cyworld with the most outlandish comments, from 'you shouldn't have done that' to 'Do you want your minihompy to be terrorized?' It has apparently gotten so bad that poor Ivy has had to close her Cyworld. Can we say crazy?

Monday, however, I saw hope, I saw a beacon of light, from Tabloo's brother of all people. This guy usually annoys me, but yesterday he was my Savior. The story goes that a Korean TV show, Infinity Challenge, decided that it would be a good idea to tape a segment in NYC. Simple enough. They thought that they would showcase Korean food to the world. I'm okay so far. But they decided that the best way to do this (uh oh... thinking) was to not bring any translators/ interpreters and act like they would in Korea, meaning attempting to be funny with Korean humor. Now I have to say, I've been here in Korea for quite some time, and I like to think that I know pretty well what Korean humor is all about, but I have never found it funny. Some say cultural difference, but I just say that they aren't all that funny. You get the occasional funny guy, but for the most part, I don't see it. And just to prove that I'm not culturally (or even linguistically) biased, I find Japanese comedians to be hilarious. Anyway, long story short, Korean comedians go to NYC, try to be funny, but make complete dumbasses out of themselves thinking nothing of it. Well, David, Tabloo's brother, rightly called them out on being idiots and, what's more, reamed MBC for letting such 'trash' be filmed. It made me smile, primarily because he was right. I love Korea, really I do, and if I didn't then I could never justify living here for nearly three years now. But he was completely right. You can read his full entry for yourself here to see just what exactly he was talking about. Granted, he did make fun of white boys a bit, but honestly, when we consider just how many times us white boys have made fun of Asian boys, it is most likely justified (and don't give me that 'high road' bullshit). David came under great fire, similar to Park Jaebum, for being unpatriotic and criticizing Korea. God forbid someone bitches about home. God knows if I was kicked out every time I complained about Port Charlotte, Florida, or America, I'd probably have to move to Cuba and turn Communist (I always did prefer red pears). Can we say 'freedom of speech'? Or, more correctly put, can we say 'telling the truth'? Mommy always told me to tell the truth, but then again we've already established the mommy problem Korea is faced with. But David didn't seem to back down, and stood firm in his convictions. Yay. Needless to say, I had a good day yesterday. Only to have it come crashing down when dumbass David apologized. I doubt it was sincere, and reading both I can see it was forced, but I still cringe at it.

All this is to say that at times it feels as if we are living in an anarchy-stricken world given the crazy netizens and the power of the Internet. We all saw it coming, but Korea has forced us to really see it first hand. It started with the beef protests, and now we are all consumed with online interaction and what he said and she said that Perez Hilton and his useless observations have become the norm. Will it change? Not anytime soon. But we all think that this craziness and insane troll logic happens to 'other people' and never to us. Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids. All we need to do is look in our own back yard to watch sanity slip away like a bad acid trip.

Case and point. I've been dubbed as anti-social in the past, seemingly uncaring, and an asshole. Granted, many of these characterizations may be grounded in some form of what we could possibly refer to as 'truth', but they are quite subjective. Vulgarities aside, my time at the GSIS at Yonsei University was a time of academic rigor, heated debates, and scholarly interaction... well, sorta. Those who felt the need to study, did, and those who felt the need to drink, party, and have lots of unprotected sex (and the old 90210 song just popped into my head), also did. Everyone knew where I stood with the GSIS, all the various incarnations of the GSA, and people in general. I seemed to be anti-social, but honestly, I found my enjoyment with people elsewhere because I thought subjecting myself to GSIS life 24/7 was, well, dumb. Call me old-fashion, but I believe in having more than one group of friends. Anyway, I still found my time at the GSIS to be exactly what I needed, and would have made the same decisions to land be back there any day of the week. That said, thank god I've graduated. It actually started with Moka and I receiving the unpleasant end of the GSIS 2x4 to the back side, and normally I'm all for S&M and bondage, but this was pushing it. From our language exam debacle to the KLI fiasco, budget crisis, and now the GSA elections, this mommy problem much of Korea is plagued with seems to have fallen smack dab into the laps of the GSIS. Call me bored at work or an instigator, but Matt shared a blog posting with me that he had to remove because of all the rather unnecessary drama surrounding it. So, me being the 'rogue American' that I am, I've decided to post it here today (in moderation, of course).

It is that time of the semester when Graduate Student Assembly (here after GSA), the GSIS student council, holds its elections for next semester. Normally I do not pay much attention to platforms and proposed actions since they all propose to make the world of GSIS better, but rather just plan a few events like Yeon-Go Jeon or an Inter-GSIS Party. However this semester something special has caught my attention: the ratification of GSA Yushin Bylaws. The current GSA administration known as the Action Party as rewritten the bylaws in order for their administration to run for reelection.¹ While it may be seemingly nothing on the surface, I and my other colleagues will not stand for Korean history to repeat itself.

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My colleagues and I refuse to be treated like 1960's Korea, which let an authoritarian leader dominate the country for nineteen years. While the Action Party tries to run rampant, and do as they please a select group scholars will refuse to accept this. While it may seem as though they hope to promote 'action,' their action has yet to provide equal opportunity events for all of those in GSIS, which was one of their running platforms⁴. Of which I am talking about non-party school events (for example: an ice cream social). They are imposing their authoritarian rule by limiting press regarding such issues by highlighting their achievements. Their cloak is that they have brought a lot of change to the GSIS, while their dagger is that they do not follow their own prinicple of listening to student in order to make the GSIS a better place. Does the GSIS really benefit from events in which alcohol is the main attraction?

The entire election a grand act of chicanery. As I was told as of 4:50pm on November 13, 2009 their were no other teams prepared to run for Spring 2010 GSA elections besides the Action Party, and thus Team Luxury was assembled.⁵ From what I have heard the Luxury Party does not want to follow through with their administration if they win.

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Some may be reading this and think that I was rather harsh in my criticism or my critique of the Action Party or GSA. Others may even go as far as to say that I criticize too much without getting involved. However, let me pose the question, why should I be involved or show interest in things that I do not care about? You probably would not involve yourself with a dance group if you did not like dance? Why should I affiliate with a group that does not stand for the founding principles of Yonsei University? If GSA were to reformat their agenda to truly align their stance to the principles that Yonsei was build for by Underwood, yes I would show a lot more interest and activity.

Now yes, Matt is a good friend and perhaps I am biased to his point of view, but I will be the first to say that some of this may not be all that kosher (and yes, he could tone down the Independence Club rhetoric just a bit). However, he is, in large part, correct. From all the semesters I've been at the GSIS, and all the past GSA's that I've been told of, what he says is quite sound. Is it just a coincidence that no past president has run twice? Perhaps. But I've learned to question coincidences since 1994 (google it). And yes, maybe I am making more hay out of this than needs be, but I'd like to think that the people of the GSIS are smart and savvy and care what goes on in their school. Therefore, why should the same party run twice? If you want real change, then have a different party every semester. This reminds me of a Will & Grace episode I watched yesterday (season 2 episode 2) where Will is the president of the tenets association in the apartment complex and Grace decides to run against him because he is acting too much like a dictator. The other tenets gladly follow him like sheep because of how insignificant it seems in the grand scheme of, well, life, but also because no one else is willing to step up and try something different. Now I'm not calling anyone a sheep or a dictator, except that's what a lot of people seem to be acting as. But granted, they are not sheep in the way that 2PM fans are like lemmings, but they are sheep because they realize that they have to deal with their own stuff and their own problems, so they acknowledge how insignificant elections and the GSA are because, like I've always done, they assume that the GSA will turn out to be glorified party planners that the office makes do rather menial and annoying tasks because they are getting scholarships. And by the way, these scholarships are also what drives people to run, but also limits those wanting to run again (or so I've been told, and experienced).

So here we are, at the end of the post, and probably an angry GSA, killer 2PM fans, and all of Korea against me. Eh, what else is new? It's like high school all over again, save the turkey and goats (there were sheep though). The point is that the problems we see in the Entertainment World, on the grand scale, are actually infiltrating our own lives, our own surroundings. Hell, just the other day I had to listen to two friends here in Korea bitch and moan about the hardships of their life. My advice: do something about it. As President Bartlet says, "Always believe that a small group of determined people can change the world." And he's right, because it always has in the past. But more than that, Korea is in the most unique position to catapult itself into this world of 'globalization' and 'Britney Spears' if they'd only stop forcing it at the one end, and acting, as my friend Fred always says "all conservative and shit" at the other end. Korea does seem to have a mommy problem, and could stand for a visit by the good Doctor.